"Southern California, Sunsets Like a Long Goodbye"

So driving to work today.... freezing car, winter jacket, snow hat, my coffee.. cold, minutes after purchase. Shitty morning... until my Ipod played a song about California...ooooh takes me back a few months ago, on my journey to California. So in the lovely Jersey winter, some pics to keep you all warm. Taken from my hotel room, driving around Hollywood, and San Diego. To say I had a blast would be an understatement! It was great seeing some of my old friends as well, miss you all.

Ohhh Cali.. every time I come back you keep treating me better then the last.

And as Butch says: "Hard to believe that nobody will see, what I see, through my bloodshot eyes."

Miss you California....

-Steve

CONTEST!!!

A special prize for the first person who guesses where i was in this pic.

-Steve

OMG!

Really?? Like seriously???

One of those Jonas heathens got married?!? I seriously thought they were all 12!

There is officially no justice left in this world! Not only do they "make music" Is that what their calling it? And now their getting married before they can even walk into a neon sign and order a whiskey? When will the madness end?

I wonder which of the cretins will first emerge as being caught doing blow off a skanky hookers ass... Only time will tell!

I may not have much, but if there's one thing I'm thrilled I'm not... It's that I'm not a Jonas. (C)

Another Year!

Well considering this year consisted of traveling, causing trouble, making some excellent new friends, seeing my 2 closest friends tie the knot, lots of empty bottles, lots of empty cigarette packs, and lots and lots of amazing times, it's hard to believe it's already over!

So I guess I should be the first to admit a lot I've done this year, wouldn't exactly classify as "smart", "safe" or "sane"

So what better time to do something right then now?!?

To all my friends, have an amazing holiday and a kick ass New Years! Live it up and party like rock stars! After all you only live once! Next time I see you all, first rounds on me!

Now that I proved I'm worthy of 'Saint' status....

Whats the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?? Santa stopped after 3 ho's.

Awwwww shit!

Strange Night in Cincinnati...

So with the year ending I thought about the strangest place I ended up drinking this year...and it would have to be....an Olive Garden in Cincinnati, Ohio.

So being stuck at a Days Inn, without a car was the least of my worries.... First the hotel non smoking.... With jet engine size smoke detectors plastered on all 4 of my walls...

I leave my hotel room for a cigarette....black dickies, chuck taylors, wife beater, fedora.... walking past the hotel front desk, the "Ohio Cute" girl behind the counter just looks at me to my and i say: "How's your night going?" Her reply: "Those are a lot of tattoos, your not from around here are you?" To my reply: "Nope, born and raised in Nebraska" with a smirk on my face, she now knows i'm joking. I say "Is there anywhere to go get a doublewhiskeycokenoice around here?...within walking distance?" Her reply "Olive Garden"..... Great!

Back to my hotel room to throw on a white t-shirt...

Walk past the "Ohio Cute" girl again, this time... black dickies, chuck taylors, white t-shirt, fedora. I look at her and say "I clean up pretty good eh?" She laughs, and i'm out the door trucking to Olive Garden. Now let me clarify...I'm from NJ/NYC area...Italian food is a god send and would never be caught dead in an Olive Garden. Although being caught dead and being at an Olive Garden in Ohio....not very far off....

I toss my smoke and walk in, and B-line it to the bar....the empty bar... Throw my credit card down, and say start me a tab and I'll have double Jameson shot to start out... "I'm sorry sir...we don't have Jameson here...." My jaw drops.... The bartender says "we have bushmills, its very similar" I tell the bartender, I'm well aware what bushmills is. I tell him I'll take a double. After fooling around on my blackberry and checking the Dodgers score, I hear a barstool pull out 2 down from me. I hear a female voice say "I'll have a ...." Without taking my eyes off my Blackberry I interrupt and say "Obviously not Jameson since Gestapo Garden doesn't sell any" I hear the bartender sigh.... She orders a glass of white wine....

"Let me guess.... your playing a show tonight?" I wonder who she is talking to, she repeats herself... I look up. "Excuse me?" She says "Well your alone at the bar, keeping a low profile, visible tattoos, playing on your blackberry, and looking very suspicious" I tell her "ok ok ok you got me... have you ever heard of the Jonas Brothers?...I'm the singer" She laughs and obviously knows this conversation is going nowhere fast... She then says "Your obviously not from around here" To my reply "What gave it away? The 'Fuck Ohio' I have written all over my face?" She laughs and said "Precisely" She then goes on to tell me that "Cincinnati isn't all that bad, I'm from here" I give her my condolences and explain to her that "I'm from the NJ/NYC area, and Cincinnati is more like Bushmills, while my home is more like Jameson" The bartender sighs again....

At this time, i kicked nearly 3/4 of the bushmills bottle, and with only 1 slice of pizza in me I grabbed at the airport, I'm feeling extremely good. My new friend at the bar, asks me where I'm staying I tell her the hotel behind here where I've been wondering if theres been more murders or roaches there. She tells me I'm staying at the hotel a few minutes from here for a conference for work, a 4 star hotel, with all the amenities. I explain to her "my hotel has a bed and a door, i'm considering myself lucky"

At this time the bartender walks over to me and says "Excuse me sir..." I cut him off "What?? A miracle happened and the gods are going to pour me a double of Jameson?" Another sigh followed by a the bar and kitchen is closing in a few and...." I cut him off again "Great in that case I'll have one of your fancy pizza's to go" He then brings me the bill, and my drinking buddy grabs it and says "it's on me, to prove to you Cincinnati isn't that bad" I thank her and tell her that I will dedicate a song to her on the next Jonas Brothers album. She laughs. Then asks how long I will be in town for, I tell her my flight takes off first thing in the morning. She gives me her number and tells me to hit her up, next time I'm in town. I tell her "definitely" and she leaves. I proceed to crumple the napkin her number was on and toss it in my empty glass. The bartender brings me my pizza and asks "why would you do that?" To my reply... "I'd drink a bottle of Bushmills before I venture back to Cincinnati" The bartender does one last sigh and "asks me to leave" I leave to walk back to my hotel, eating the pizza on the way, only to leave the rest with "Ohio Cute" girl at the counter. Make my way to my room, and pass out.

Said it before and I'll say it again. Never trust an establishment that does not carry Jameson, and never trust a city where they claim to fame is putting chili over spaghetti. I'll take my NYC pizza any day.

Goodnight Cincinnati!

I desperately...

Need a vacation, hell I'd even settle for just a night away.

Anywaysssss Philly Tattoo convention is only a few months away!

Men who "talk" to Deer's

So maybe I should clarify My whole "Talking to Deers" on an earlier post, in the middle of the night I found myself outside smoking a cigarette and about 10 feet from me stands a deer...yes asshole... a real deer. He is just staring at me...I ask the deer "What are you doing so far from home buddy?"

The deer doesn't move... to which i reply... "Me?? aww no buddy i live here, just drinking some whiskey, having a cigarette, you know the whole 'better to burn out then to fade away'" I find funny, nothing from the deer. Tough crowd...

Believe it or not, this deer does not move and just stares at me. My whole mindset was "IF you keep talking to him, no way would he attack you" Which then raises the question...do deers attack, i mean I know they have the shows "When animals attack" but not sure if I ever saw a deer on there. I ask the deer that question, no reply...

So after a good 10 minutes of deer talking and smoking cigarettes, the whiskey is making everything spin, so the bed is calling. I actually said goodnight to the deer and went inside.

Lay down in bed, and 1 minute later my Blackberry goes off, (Who is texting me at this time of night) a good friend of mine, her text says "Stevie im drunk and need a good laugh, tell me something" After wondering if I would be committed if i told this story, I told her... to her reply....

"Stevie your either a genius, or the dumbest, most irrelevant person I know"

And on that note.... I text back "all of the above, goodnight"

Ooooh NYC...

So after collapsing on my bathroom floor that morning (don't ask) I decided what better way to handle that situation then to go to NYC that night...

After arriving at the bar and a steady diet of Jameson and cigarettes, I find myself involved in a conversation about tattoos with some girl....about 40 minutes later, and numerous empty glasses, this conversation moves to the bathroom stall"

"Steviieeee (spoken by said drunken girl) Isn't it fate that you have a panther tattoo and I have paws tattooed on my chest??"

"Aww babe, your so cute!" (Gives her a kiss)

At this time, the whole "fate comment" got the better of me, so I left the bathroom to find my ride....To which I say...

"Ok time to get the fuuuuck outta here"

Then I heard "Dancing With Myself" and NYC seemed so surreal to me. The booze, the freezing weather, the uneasy feeling in my stomach from whiskey and cigarettes, the women, although for some reason all I thought about was the girl who I actually didnt stand a chance with. Weird, with any luck i'll have more conversations with deers tonight...

I swear Jameson is magical!